While you were sleeping

You know what the best thing about being a filthy liberal scum is? Not having to lie all the time. Seriously, ask yourself when was the last time you, as a filthy liberal scum, had to lie to prove a point? Have you ever? Do you ever even feel the urge? I know I haven’t.

But the God, guns and guts group? They lie. All the time. The powers that be at Fox News lie to their viewers. The GOP lies to their constituents. Conservative bloggers lie to their readers. That’s almost to be expected by now because conservative policies are impossible to sell on their face value. It simply can’t be done. Everything has to be coded to make it palpable to the average moderate who can’t face the reality of their beliefs. It must be exhausting! No wonder conservatives are always cranky!

Here, because lists are fun:

• Welfare is a…