A Word to Clinton Supporters…

I ran across this delightful article by Heather Michon and had to pass it on…

“As the clock ticks down to Hillary Clinton winning the 2016 election, I thought I’d pass on a few helpful hints to Hillary supporters – the ladies in particular – about how you are expected to comport yourself over the coming days and weeks. These are tips I’ve gleaned from various FB posts, blogs, and opinion pieces over the weekend.

1)Don’t get too excited. There’s nothing notable whatsoever about a woman winning a major party presidential nomination, and most likely the presidency. Just because it’s never happened before doesn’t make it “historic.” History is the domain of men; HERstory is something that’s taught in Women’s Studies departments. One is fact, one is fringe. DO NOT compare one with the other.

2) Remember, the white guy could still save us. Team Sanders has every right to spend the next seven weeks trying to convince DNC superdelegates that YOUR vote counts less than the fact that Bernie reeeeeellllly wants to run for President. No, he’s not going to be able to convince them, but bursting that bubble would be so friggin’ unladylike.

3) Women Clinton Supporters: When talking about the primaries, always keep in the forefront of your mind that all Sanders supporters came to that decision through a rational and dispassionate comparisons of candidate platforms and philosophies. YOU voted with your vagina. Nothing good ever came out of a vagina. Nothing.

4) Don’t smile. Well, smile, for God’s sake – nobody likes a resting bitch face – but don’t smile *too much.* Don’t shout….it scares people! No outbursts! Play it safe: sit quietly, legs crossed at the ankles, hands folded on your lap. Employ a buddy system. If you feel a creeping sense of joy that threatens to spill out onto your face, have your friend elbow you hard, right in the boob. Repeat as needed.

5) If you absolutely must celebrate, go ahead. Everyone knows women are emotional creatures. Just remember, from here on out, everything is either all your fault, or complete luck. If Hillary wins with the 336-202 Electoral College blow-out Princeton’s Sam Wang is predicting at the moment, it’s because Donald Trump is such a weak candidate that a sea otter could have won by a country mile this year. If she loses it’s ALL. YOUR. FAULT. You, and your vagina.“

H/T Heather Michon

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